I Don't Need to Know Everything

Just got back from my annual checkup. I’m convinced medicine hasn't advanced for 200 years. The doctors still bleed you. Yeah, their better at it and they’ve stopped using leaches, now it's fine needles poked in your arms filling vial after vial. They plug the holes with band aides making sure they cover as much arm hair as possible. Are you supposed to fill the urine cup to the top? When the nurse handed me the cup she said, “I want you to catch the urine in mid air, don’t touch the cup with your ‘body’.” OK, this is easy for guys; gals I just can’t picture how you do it and I don’t really want to know. Then the ass hole doctor went and ruined my whole next year. Next year Mr. D. you’ll be fifty so we will do a colon scope. I’ll wake up at night 50 times this year dreading this. Thanks, Doc!